On Living in the Moment, With Andrew Joseph

Dadditude Newsletter #18

Dadditude interviews dads (and mums) from different backgrounds, professional fields and ethnicities to get their insights on what it means to be a parent in the current moment.

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Andrew is a dad based in North London who’s been documenting his life at home with three kids and a tumour on this Dad With A Crazy Family Instagram account.

We spoke with him recently about living with a tumour, making the most of each day with the kids, and home schooling during Covid lockdowns.

Tell us a little about yourself.

I am Andrew, a stay-at-home dad since 2016. I used to work in the finance sector before finding out I had a brain tumour which was removed. Since then we have found out that I have a throat tumour. I live in North London with my beautiful wife and our three kids, and we love spending time as a family and having fun.

Tell us about your kids.

Our first born is Ashton and he will be 12 this year, he is the brainy and quiet one of the family and would sit back and take in all the information.

Aiden is our second child, and he will be 9 this year. I would describe him as the joker in the pack, but he is also the most loving and will always be the one who will give you a kiss and a hug.

Aleah is the baby who is 6 next year and she is the second boss of the family after my wife. She is strong minded and likes everything done her way.

How is your current health condition impacting your day-to-day parenting?

My current condition I would say is a blessing as I’m able to see the kids grow each day. In our family, we take each day as it comes, as I could have a bad night not sleeping and it would affect the next day, or I could be exhausted and not be able to do anything. Luckily, my wife also works from home, and she is always there to help if I’m not having a great day. We try and make the most of our time together by playing computer games, board games, dancing or watching films.

What do you think is your biggest strength as a parent?

Being the stern one, if you get told off for anything by mum and the situation is still not fixed, you must answer to dad.

What stresses you out the most these days as a parent?

The thing that stresses me out the most is doing home schooling. As Aiden is the joker, he also does not have the concentration, and what should take 30 minutes could take hours. The other thing is dealing with kids from all different age groups and trying to give time to each of them.

What side of parenthood do you wish you had invested more time and energy in the past?

Doing the night-time duties, I just left that all to my wife as I do not function very well when I do not have enough sleep. Anna would ask me to burp one of the kids and I would try and then just drop asleep with the baby on my chest in the rocking chair.

Can you tell us about an especially favorite/special moment with your kid recently?

As a dad of three, it's very hard to get all three to do something together due to the age difference, but recently we have been playing cricket together and I have helped them learn to hold the bat or to bowl the ball.

Thank you Andrew!

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We’ve enjoyed reading:

• In praise of fathers: the making of the modern dad
  Once they were only seen as breadwinners and disciplinarians. A leading anthropologist highlights 10 ways in which the role of fathers has been transformed

• Dad’s the word: how the pandemic got men talking about fatherhood
  More men than ever are joining fathers’ groups and showing an interest in what it means to be a dad

• Throwback: Dadditude Newsletter #7: On becoming the 'Tips, Hacks, and Laughs' Dad, with Andrew McFarlane

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